Sorry

I also found an interesting reference to religion in the media. While reading the news on MSNBC, I became intrigued with Mary Mohler's article "Stop Apologizing When It's Not Your Fault." She describes her habit of saying "sorry" when the word is not necessary, and uses statistics from studies to prove that many women share her plight, including me. I thought of this class and the blog after she compared this language addiction to a "ritual". As quoted from the article:

In this context, the apologizer is simply acknowledging the other person's experience. In other instances, the ritual exchange of apologies is the verbal equivalent of a handshake -- a way of closing the subject. "It works like this," says Dr. Tannen. "I apologize to you for A, then you apologize to me for B, and we've maintained our equal footing." Apologizing can also be a means to prompt an apology from someone else, she points out. "If I'm annoyed that you broke a vase I loved, I might say, 'I'm sorry I yelled at you for breaking the vase.' The real point is to get you to say, 'No, I'm sorry -- I should have been more careful.'"

I then began thinking about other "ritual" exchanges of words that women, especially teens, use commonly. Here is an example that I'm sure many will recognize:

Girl A: I am so fat/ugly

Girl B: No you aren't. I'm more fat/ugly than you are.

Today, this form of personal degradation is common, almost expected. Although I hesitate to call it a ritual, it does bear striking resemblance to the exchange that Mohler describes in her article. Think about it.

The full article can be found here