Rituals

Does a ritual have to be religious? If so, my religion must revolve around horror movies and cell phones. Since I came to college, I've developed a bedtime ritual. After doing as much homework as I can stomach, I close my laptop in a triumphant act of finality. I think to myself, "I'm done! My computer is off, can't do any more work! Too late now!" After the computer is silenced, it's time to get ready for bed. I put on pajamas and grey, disheveled slippers, grab my little blue bag of excitement (complete with soap, washcloth, toothbrush, and toothpaste), and head to the bathroom at the end of the hall.

As I creep over the hardwood floor, I realize that everyone else is asleep on our hall besides my roommate and me... and then the faint paranoia settles in. I'm wandering through this 3 a.m. consciousness alone, and It's a little scary. I tiptoe faster to the bathroom. Phew! Safe inside. (That was a close one. I think someone was probably lurking in the stairwell, just waiting to jump out and get me.) I give the room a quick once-over and check for bad guys behind both shower curtains, you know, just in case. I brush my teeth and everything is OK. I can see the whole room, no blind spots.

But then the trouble comes.

Hrmm... I ponder the ultimate question: How do I wash my face without closing my eyes? I've seen way too many scary movies in my life to be fooled by the old trick of "Look down when the coast is clear, look back up and now someone's there!" I give up trying to keep the mirror in sight, and I just wash my face really quickly. I look back up and breathe a sigh of relief. Thankfully, I'm still alone. No phantoms have crept up behind me.

I walk back to my room, somewhat more confidently this time. (But I still make sure to lock the door right behind me-- I don't want the imaginary monsters following me inside.) Now I'm too excited from this excursion to fall asleep, so I grab my cell phone. Who can I call? Who would still be up this late? No one. OK, then who can I wake up and get away with it?

Simple, my boyfriend.

"Andre, I can't sleep."
"(Sleepily) All right... should I tell you a story?"
"Yes, please."

I don't even care what the "story" is. More often than not, it's just the recollection of some innocuous event from earlier that day. But I've gotten used to tucking myself into bed while talking on the phone, and now I need it to fall asleep quickly. As a child I always had trouble sleeping, and I always found it helpful to create a "pre-bedtime" ritual. Over the years this process has included reading a specific book, or listening to a certain song after I turned out the light. And now, in college, it has become the pattern of freaking myself out late at night and then listening to my boyfriend talk on the phone. What can I say? Works like a charm!