Walking on Eggshells

I have literally agonized over what to write in a religious blog. I take a course that emphasizes the study of religion and media through writing, but religion is not a prominent facet of my life. In fact, each time I went to work on a blog entry, I felt that what I had written would offend someone (not intentionally!) by expressing my doubt in particular religious belief or write something that someone could perceive to be insensitive or close-minded.

I grew up in a small rural town that had/has nearly no religious diversity and it was in the fourth grade that I remember things a change. A new boy in my class was a Jehovah’s witness and to the rest of us, his classmates, it was completely irrelevant to how we related to him, we didn’t even know what that meant. Those feelings changed when the class was no longer allowed to hold holiday or birthday celebrations, a revered and cherished tradition in all classes until this religious outsider rained on our parade. Of course, he was not intentionally altering our traditions or taking away our fun, but from then on, he was truly resented. I can see why reading that story, one would sympathize for the little boy. However, nearly twenty other boys and girls were then awestruck with how his religious beliefs had so strongly dictated our classroom dynamic. We were hurt and even more confused, but we were always compelled by our elders to stifle our disagreement and inquiries because it would be “rude.” I remember floods of complaints that came into the school about canceling any celebrations, and by the next year, the school had altered its policy. The new rule was that children who cannot celebrate or participate in class activities for religious reasons could opt out by staying home or go to another classroom at times when there would be festivities for the class.
Like I said, there is little diversity of any kind where I grew up, but the receptionist, we’ll call her Holly, at the dentist’s office where my mother is a dental hygienist, is another instance worth discussing. Holly is a gregarious and extremely likable woman, who also happens to be a Jehovah’s Witness. My mother finds herself tripping over her words on nearly a daily basis to avoid making Holly uncomfortable or offending her—no more saying “Oh my God” in incredulous moments, “God bless you,” in response to a sneeze, and she’s always looking for a way to secularize all office festivities to avoid offending or excluding Holly. I have been in many situations when I have inadvertently acted or spoken in a way that is does not appreciate a variety of religions. One of the best examples would be before Winter Break, saying good-bye to friends and classmates and indiscriminately wishing a “very Merry Christmas” to a large number of people who do not celebrate Christmas. I accidentally disregarded the especially large Jewish population at Penn, as well as the many other religions that do not celebrate Christmas. Thankfully, most of those who do not celebrate Christmas didn’t even call me on my faux pas or would say something like “and a Happy Hanukah to you!” However, a handful got very offended and of course, I felt awful. I did not even mean use limiting terms, it was merely instinct. For weeks after, I was acutely aware of differences whether they were religious, racial, gender, or otherwise. It has only been recently that I have had to let some of my fears of offending or excluding someone go because I was driving myself crazy!
In a wide world of diversity and disparity, someone could spend their entire lifetime trying to learn how to deal with the infinite differences among us and still never reach that goal. The best someone can do for now is to be honest— politely communicate your anxiety or uneasiness with unfamiliar faiths, religious teachings, etc, and express that you are making a concerted effort to be respectful.
One cannot ask for more than an earnest attempt to be considerate and accommodating. We can each have our own beliefs and need not change them to please others, but we can be sure to let others know that we recognize their beliefs as sacred to them and do our best to communicate that we are making a concerted effort to be respectful of their beliefs.
This will be my genuine effort to let anyone know who may read any of my entries in the future that I’ll try hard to esteem a wide array of religious affiliations, but I’m still learning and only human.