"now and at the hour of our death..."

In my human development class, we ended the semester with a talk about death and more specifically living wills and advanced directives. The whole class period essentially became a discussion about what our parents wanted if they were faced with an irreversible medical condition and what descisions we wanted to be made if we were faced with the same situation. Eventually, we began to talk about our own personal experiences and if anyone in our families or amongst our friends, young and old, who had recently passed away. The moment that question was asked my friend, who was sitting next to me, began to cry. Concerned, I asked if she wanted to go to the restroom and talk about it; stronlgy she declined and we continued on with the discussion. After class we shared with me that about two years ago a good friend of hers had died from a drunk driver. At that moment I was numb. Not only was death always a sensitive subject with me, but when it came to stories about young people dying for no good reason it hit something deep inside of me. As she continued her story she made a comment that really stuck out to me.
"Sometimes when young people die like that I think God, why are you so stupid? Why them?"
Now although I knew she didn't mean it literally, I could see where she was coming from. For even the most devout Catholic or religious person I think that is always the hardest question to come to terms with. We are told things happen for a reason. We are told that it was just their time. We are told that they are in a better place; they are no longer suffering and instead are sharing in God's happiness. Yet, how much of that do we really believe? How much of it can we really accept?
For me, at this point in my life, it's very grey. I do believe that things happen for a reason and I do believe that they are in a better place, but there are always so many but's and and what if's. It's that idea that you can never really come to terms with everything unless you know why. And can you ever know why? Or do you really need to know why, even if you have conviced yourself that you do? It might just be one of those things that you'll always hold on to, but have learned to live with. Yet, will those questions of -- why me? why them? why now?-- ever really go away? That's where it's grey because in the end you can say that's all in God's will and believe it, but still have that nagging feeling in your heart of why...